After Thoughts...The Texas Chainsaw Massacre [1974] (spoilers)

Anyway you look at it, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a brutal, grotesque and horrifying movie.  It is also funny.  Well, sort of.  In a movie filled with psychotic torturers, chainsaws and meat hooks, director Tobe Hopper finds a way to shed some humor onto this densely laughless circumstance.  The humor of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre comes in the form of satire.  It is subtle, neatly positioned under what I would argue to be the most horrific scene in the entire movie.  Given its context, the terror erupting out this scene overwhelms anything “funny” about what is going on.  But it is still there.

The “funny” scene in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre comes in the movie after Sally has been captured, tied up to a chair made of human bones and seated at the table.  When she awakes to find herself here, she gives out a blood-curling scream.  There’s clearly nothing funny for her.  But still, in a sick way, this is also the funniest and probably only funny part of the movie.  Let me explain using this picture-

The Killer B's...Dawn of the Dead [1978]

When does an excessively violent zombie flick from the 1970s permit itself to be something more than a low grade horror movie?  I know it seems a bit counter-intuitive to begin this post describing the movie’s retraction from B status, but for as bad as some of the selections of The Killer B’s have been so far, I'd say it’s a far better start than most. 

Admired both as a great cinematic achievement and a terrific midnight fright, George A Romero’s Dawn of the Dead received almost a universal appeal on its release backed by both critics and horror junkies alike. Even to this day some 30 years later, the movie still has a marvelous showing, despite the many remakes it has produced and itself being a sequel.  Romero’s classic zombie piece consistently remains towards the top of many lists concerning the greatest horror movies of all time.

Our fascination with the living dead is nothing new, even at this movie’s release.  Dawn of the Dead is in fact a sequel to Romero’s Night of the Living Dead released ten years prior to this one and still we can dig deeper.  White Zombie, considered the first true zombie picture ever made, came out in 1932.  But even before this so-called invention of the cinematic zombie there were precursors of the zombie craze, most notably the stiff, muted somnambulist of The Cabinet of Dr.Caligari (1921).  Dawn of the Dead provided nothing particularly revolutionary or innovative in its story or zombie depiction compared to previous movies of its kind.  There’s not much you can do actually.  When zombies enter, it always becomes a struggle for survival.  And other than Danny Boyle giving zombies the ability to run in 28 Days Later, the creativity of one such creature is limited.  Despite the rather atypical and unoriginal formula left for these movies, Romero’s second installment of the zombie trilogy was a huge success.  Many consider Dawn of the Dead to be the best zombie movie ever made and I would certainly agree.   So to circle back to the initial question posed, what makes Dawn of the Dead such a spectacular movie?

Useless Clatter...October Horror Special [and My Defense for the Best Holiday Ever]

There comes a time every year, as the leaves turn a new hue and air becomes crisp, when we must finally admit that summer has come to an end.  Of the four season, Fall tends to get the short end of the stick, usually best identified as the end of good old summer and the onset of a seriously cold winter (depending on where you live of course.)

And Fall is generally not a special time for movies either.  The summer season's blockbuster have all released, and most of the Oscar-worthy flicks don't come out until Christmas time.  So there tends to be some time to kill for cinephiles.  Fall TV is just o.k. and I have never meet someone who consciously awaits the Emmys. [Did those already happen?]  But I personally hold nothing against Fall.  It happens to be my favorite season for a number of reasons, and the biggest reason growing up was the coming splendor of Halloween.  

I always considered myself a pragmatic kid growing up.  Sure I loved Christmas just like any other little Catholic kid, but Halloween was always the best holiday and the reason was quite simple- candy, and lots of it.  What Halloween had [has] over Christmas was the simple guarantee of hundreds and hundreds of sweet and neatly wrapped little gifts.  As long as you were willing to hike around the block for a few hours in a dorky mask, you would be rewarded with a pillowcase full of candy, regardless if you had been naughty or nice.  Santa and his elves could never promise that.  The only thing I could guarantee from him was a new pack of underwear, socks and a toothbrush.  I never new what else to expect, if anything more.  Maybe another Nerf gun, but what if it wasn't the cool one that everyone else had?  With Halloween I never had a growing fear that I would open my pillow case full of candy and find 500 Almond Joys.  

Unfortunately to this day, I no longer enjoy the chocolaty bliss of trick-or-treating.  It is sad, yes, and if it was socially acceptable for a 21 year old to go door to door and ask for candy would I go out there and do it?, you bet I would.  But its not socially acceptable  so I have to get by other ways.

So as we soon reach the month of October, I write this not just to prove that Fall doesn't completely suck and that Halloween is better than Christmas, but to present the ensuing month-long celebration here at FILMclatter.  All posts of the month of October will be devoted to the horror season's best and certainly worst movies, past and present.  From delightful treats like Psycho and Jaws to some tricks like Basket Case 2, no horror movie, good or bad (or even really really bad) is out of discussion.  Sure its not the most original movie blog theme for October but what could be sweeter, and without a pillow case full of candy, its all I got to chew on.  

The Killer B's...The Food of the Gods [1976]

posted for THE CAMP & CULT BLOGATHON hosted by SHE BLOGGED BY NIGHT

The Food of the Gods is already an elite B-movie for two reasons:

1. It is an adaptation from an H.G. Wells story

2. It was nominated for an award that wasn’t a Razzie, more specifically the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films’s Best Horror Film of the Year award (rightfully beat out by The Omen)

If the movie 2012 reaffirms to us that our greatest apocalyptic fear is an array of giant, global warming induced mega-disasters, one can only assume the great apocalyptic fear of the 1970s would have come in the form of giant man-eating farm animals and monstrous, bloodthirsty mice.  Then again, you can’t believe everything you see in the movies.  We'll have to wait and see if 2012 and the Mayan prophecy hold true come December 21st.

In their original form, B-films came to life through low budgets, short schedules and flimsy morals. Every so often you’ll come across a director who wants to make a tacky horror movie about giant, bloodthirsty mice while trying to insert a social commentary about man’s disregard for the environment. I have a feeling the end result never pans out to the initial intentions.

Case in point with The Food of the Gods.

What on Earth?...The Food of the Gods [1976]

              posted for THE CAMP & CULT BLOGATHON hosted by SHE BLOGGED BY NIGHT

Watching The Food of the Gods reaffirmed the notion that anyone, anyone can not only make a movie, but make a giant-animal-apocalypse movie for that matter.  CGI is overrated.  All you really need is a few dozen mice and some Lincoln Logs.    

This is just one of those things where an explanation is far too bizarre to leave with only words.  In the age of computers, its easier than ever to grab a few screen shots and let the movie do the talking.  And that's exactly what I've done.  What you'll find below are a handful of my favorite captured moments from Food of the Gods. Hopefully it will convince you to watch the movie and experiene this disarray in real time, or better yet, inspire the creation of your own man-eating farm animal movie.

These are giant, man-eating mice.  Those are real people in a normal sized Jeep.

Useless Clatter...Another New Category: What on Earth?

Every once in a while, you will come across a movie who’s explanation goes far beyond the use of words. Our English language contains tens of thousands of adjectives that could certainly fit the description of just about any possible scenario one could think up, so it surely it must be done.  But in the case of movies,  there always that feeling of something missing when dissolving a moving pictures into words.  Describing Ingmar Bergman’s Persona as “a lucid, fever dream of a masterpiece”[1] gives viewers an appropriate emotional context, but still does not match all that lies within the film.  Other movies like  The Tree of Life or Triumph of the Will leave me without words after each viewing.  Then again, this task of describing what we see should not necessarily come easily. I see it as a testament to any filmmaker who can create worlds so inexplicable that it leaves viewers speechless.

But above all, I must say this holds most applicable to the genre of B-movies.  As I pretend to be going off on some philosophical tangent about the vast possibilities contained in the cinema, I am really here for reasons much less technical but equally as appreciative.  I am introducing the newest category here at FILMclatter titled 'What on Earth?'.  Working twosome with my other addition, The Killer B’s, this will serve as bona fide proof that not everything can and should be described in words.  From each horrible B-movie reviewed in The Killer B’s, What on Earth? will feature an array of screenshots from the movie that best displays schlock cinema’s tremendous ability for crafting images where words have no place.  The images will be chosen based on the merits of unfathomed absurdity, ridiculousness, and the occasional illogic.  But that's a description right there.  I know, this is all a bit of an oxymoron and I continue to contradict myself the more I type.

The point of this category is not to try and stump the dictionary.  It serves no greater purpose than sheer entertainment and  an appreciation for the most unimaginable things movies have to offer.   Even better, this gives me a chance to be lazy and throw up a legitimate post consisting of five pictures and ten words.  I'll take that any day.

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[1] Credit where credit is due! Persona description from Alex Winthrow at And So It Begins... (http://www.andsoitbeginsfilms.com/2012/03/15-great-movies-under-85-minutes.html).

The Killer B's...The Stuff [1985]

I have always heard that the mark of a good story teller is one who can convey everything they need to in as little time as possible.  Seven Samurai, which clocks in at around three and a half hours is a spectacular movie, no doubt one of the greatest and most impressive outputs the cinema has ever seen. But more impressive I would say is Ingmar Bergman’s Persona.  In a mere 87 minutes Bergman’s mesmerizing and illusionary tale carries the emotional weight well beyond any epic and lengthy masterpiece.

In a similar way (though I must immediately add that this is certainly the only thing they have in common), Larry Cohen’s schlock horror piece The Stuff has a running time of 86 minutes.  Does this mean it is a well-constructed, elegantly condensed narrative film like Persona? Of course not.  This just so happens to be the kind of movie that refutes my prior paragraph.

As it begins, the movie wastes no time introducing its audience to “the stuff-” a creamy milky-looking goo found in the ground that suddenly becomes the most delicious and addicting dessert in America.  The director finds no better way to communicate this information than by having the movie’s first speaking character make abrupt exclamatory statements out loud to no one.  Of course, we have to assume that his Schizophrenic outbursts are “important information” geared towards the audience. This old man is the first person to discover “the stuff” seeping up through the dirt.  And as anyone’s first instinct would be when finding a mysterious goo bubbling in the ground, the man immediately reaches down to taste it.  In his favor, the substance was not some sort of hydrochloric poison that burnt his tongue clean off.  Of course not, it tastes wonderful and from here enters The Stuff, a delicious dessert snack that floods the super markets and kitchens of every household in America even putting ice cream distributors out of business.